Transvestia

worse than the results of the actual event. Thus preconceptions of the effects on the child are probably much more horrendous than what would act- ually happen if he did know.

I am afraid that I am of the opinion that to inform the child about this paternal activity would not be the destructive influence that it is auto- matically assumed it would be. The significant thing is not the knowledge but what kind and how much emotional energy becomes attached to it. By this I mean if the child learns about it in an accidental way and the parents don't know that he knows, and thus can not explain the matter further, he will develop his own ideas about it and it will be a concern to him. Not least in importance would be the fact that he observes that his parents care- fully never talk about it to him or demonstrate it in front of him. So the secrecy and guilt become more significant to him than the fact. Even if the enlightenment occurs by intention, if it is present- ed in an apologetic, self justifying, guilt-ridden way, the child is certainly going to pick this up and acquire a sense of "badness" about it which again will go much further to damage child-parent relations than the information given him.

On the other hand, if he is told intentionally, directly, objectively, unemotionally and with strai- ghtforward honesty, I am persuaded that it would not do the damage predicted. This, of course, re- quires that in other areas of relationship, the father be a friend, confidant and proper image. Fathers' can afford to have their foibles and hobbies without Junior's either being upset about it or wanting to do likewise. As far as neighbors are concerned--- aren't there many things that children are given to understand are matters of family im- portance only, and not to be discussed with out- siders? TV and daddy's habit of wearing a nightie like mommy's need not become facts of great import- ance which must be broadcast to all and sundry, IF the matter is presented openly. If on the other

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